The Bubbas and the Breezes

You’ll have to read this with your best Roy D. voice to get the right effect.  Click here if ya don’t know who I’m talking about.

I’m at Wal-Mart for the second time Saturday, returning some ground beef with some questionable additives.  While searching for a replacement pack, I decide to show what I’m returning to the meat manager.  If ya didn’t know, now ya do, Wal-Mart doesn’t have a meat manager.  All the employees around were more interested in what was in the meat than finding me the best person to talk to about it.  As I tried to exit the scene, I was stopped by Jim Bob who was calling Leroy over to “Come ov’r ‘n see-iss.”  I select my new 2.25 lbs of beef and head to the Customer Service counter.

Again, there are many employees very interested in what’s in the beef, not getting me out the door.  As I’m waiting, Cletus and Sara Ann Jean are returning their Ionic Breeze.

“They don’t work, you cain’t hear nothin’ when you plug ’em in.  Sara Ann Jean’s been up ‘ere, this’l be the fifth time today cuz they don’t work.”

I, unable to keep my mouth shut (didn’t learn my lesson from the beef), inform the gentleman that “You’re not gonna hear anything when these are on.  That’s one of their claims, silent operation because there are no moving parts.”  Well that flew about as high over his head as a Low Earth Orbit Satellite.

“You gotta hear somethin’ when the motor starts up.”  This is when you know it’s time to leave.  I signed my return receipt and headed out.  Between five employees and two customers, none of them could read “Operates in complete silence” on the side of the box. 

Who doesn’t love a good trip or five to Wally World anyway.  What else are you gonna do on a Saturday in McKinney.


One Response to The Bubbas and the Breezes

  1. Mark says:

    Great job of writing the dialect. That’s hard to do, but you nailed it.

    Now, just what in the heck WERE those additives? Huh? Huh?

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