Katrina in the Kitchen

Saturday, the family sat in Owen’s room playing on the floor and in the closet.  It’s good to bring out toys that have been stored for a while, it’s like they’re new.  At some point, I got up to go to the kitchen.  The linoleum seemed much shinier than normal and the carpet made a weird squishing sound as I stepped on it.  “Jess!” I called to the other room.  “I think there’s something wrong in here.  Something’s leaking.”  She came running to see for herself.  Clearly, tiny black helicopters had infiltrated my home and blown the main lines to our washing machine.  The fury of the City of McKinney Utility Co. had been unleashed in my own kitchen.

Jess immediately grabbed towels already in the utility room as I asked where more were while turning off the water to the washer.  Shouldn’t I have known where we keep towels?  Anyway, I get two more and bring them back when it is clear these aren’t going to be enough.  I feel like a super hero as the thought enters my mind, “The shop vac,” I say.  “It can suck up all this water really quick.”  Only I would be thinking this at this time, I’ve never used it to pick up water before, this’ll be cool!  I dash to the garage and retrieve the  six gallon RIDGID wet/dry vac and immediately start to suck some water.  Five seconds later the sound of the motor indicates it’s full and I’ve got to dump out the water.  “That was fast.  It can’t be full already.”  It was.  It sucks up water that fast.  It’s clear at this point that I’ll be needing a bigger shop vac in the near future.  Perhaps FEMA can help me out.  Does water from an appliance count as a natural disaster?  Can’t get much more natural than water.  And no one could argue this wasn’t a disaster.  I think we’ve got something here.  This will all have to wait though, I’ve got water to move.

After filling and dumping the vacuum six times and completely soaking every towel we own [except two, we’ll need those for showering, Jess is so smart, even in times of high stress], the kitchen floor is mostly dry.  The carpets were still a bit wet, but what a coincidence, we had borrowed a carpet shampooer earlier that week.  What better to get a bunch of water out of your carpet.  The only thing that would make you really frustrated about all this [as if you wouldn’t be] is that Jess had just shampooed and vacuumed that entire house within the last two days.  Did I mention she’s having a baby in less than two weeks?  She was pretty chipper about this, I mean, it did give us the opportunity to clean all that fuzz from behind the washer and dryer.

I would suggest not telling Granny this story, lest they wish to hear the tale of her toilet backing up.  Just a thought.  Our next home will totally have a drain in the utility room.

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4 Responses to Katrina in the Kitchen

  1. Mary-Lou says:

    Josh – Rick wants to know if you remembered to take the filter out of the shop vac BEFORE you started vaccuming up the water?

  2. Mark says:

    Even though I’d already heard this one in person, reading this version was great.

    “Perhaps FEMA can help me out.”

    Great line, Josh. Fun read.

    Oh, and I’m putting my money on “No,” Mary-Lou.

  3. DOF says:

    I had so hoped you hadn’t inherited my adversarial relationship with water, but there’s no use fighting genetics. Looking back, it was probably a mistake to start piping such a destructive force of nature into our homes.
    When your roof starts to leak or a pipe breaks or you get the trainee waitress/cashier/clerk on their first day of work, think of DOF.
    Loveya

    P.S. I vote for “yes” on your having removed the filter. Otherwise, we would have read about that part of the nightmare, too.

  4. Alvis says:

    Luckily, when my dryer quit working last week, all that leaked out was cold air. I have a shop vac, also. Why? Because I’m a manly man with power tools, that’s why.

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